I had one of those tough weekends where I was in bed all Saturday, only getting up in time to host our guests (sorry for leaving you with all the work Tracey, but thanks for letting me rest) and then on Sunday I was equally wiped out only mustering enough energy to go on a bowling adventure that we were hosting.
I had a lot of stomach pain, constipation, a huge two day headache and some back pain. But most of all I was absolutely exhausted, hence the amount of sleep.
And when I woke up this morning I had an all too familiar pain just below my sternum. And with all my experience with pancreatic and bile duct pain I had a sneaky suspicion that something nefarious was back.
I took quick action and called Nurse Susan to let her know I was on my way to get a blood test a day early (normal routine is to get blood test on Tuesday). The blood test would tell me if my lipase levels were high and an indicator of pancreatic or bile duct issues.
Now let me tell you, the easy part is taking action, the hard part is the three days of questions that enter in to your mind. And to your partners mind. Actually more questions enter Tracey’s mind as she can only ask me questions and wait for me to give her the analysis. I can at least gauge the pain and attempt to reassure her that we’re not quite at emergency level yet.
I’m not going to lie, when I woke up and had that familiar abdominal pain my heart kinda took an extra beat. I had been doing so well that the prospect of hospitalization and surgery was a bummer. A real buzz kill to the sunny day that I would rather be absorbing. My mind started thinking about the smell of the hospital, the food, the queasy feeling from the surgery and other elements that were soon to follow.
And the real irony, it was exactly one year ago that the pancreas first started acting up. Exactly one year ago this coming Saturday.
My mind was starting to believe I was headed in for surgery.
But as I’ve said before I try really hard not to think about what may be, instead I try really hard to push those thoughts out until there is a reality that forces me to think and act upon them. And the one way to ensure they were not a reality was to get the blood test done immediately.
Well, after all that, my lipase was lower than last week and was in normal range, my creatine was lower than last week and back to my normal level. I was fine.
And after all that it was just a normal, everyday virus that can knock anyone out. Tracey was beat up by it earlier in the month. And she had most of the same challenges, so it all made sense.
But as you can imagine, it’s really easy to jump to conclusions, especially when you know the first couple of hours are critical. I’m still very confident in my body awareness, and will continue to pay very close attention. I won’t change a thing except how I mentally handle the process.
I just hope I don’t sneak too far into the future and instead stay in the present moment as long as I can while I figure out if my diagnosis matches the hospitals.
Oh and for the record, I bowled my brains out. Strikes and spares. And no gutter balls. Not one.
And yes I’m going to use the gutter guards every time from now on.