Patience Explained

Sorry bout that last post. Seems it wasn’t in my normal manner. My friend Mike described my post as “Jim, the recent post was short and cryptic, not in your usual style.”

As a result of the post I’ve received many messages of concern and support. For that I say thank you.

But I think I should explain why I posted that message.

It’s cause I was having a tough time physically and mentally and while I was, and am, still positive in my approach I was recognizing how arduous the process has become.

And I vented. It was an honest to goodness blogger tantrum.

The venting came about as I was dealing with an incessant cough, serious abdominal pain, reduced sight, a headache and am perpetually hungry. This balancing act of keeping the pancreas in check in order to get to next phase has become quite the challenge. So much so that I have taken the tact to eat small high protein meals with ongoing snacks and take plenty of rest. But it’s the rest that is the toughest part as I pretty much have to lie on my back in order to mitigate pain. Walking hurts as does lying on my side. Baths are great and eat up a portion of each day (even though I still have the itchies).

So my day is pretty basic:

  • Rise from the bed, take a thyroid pill.

  • Go for a pee while hoping for a bm.

  • Small breakfast, preceded by two pills as well as the 5 enzymes.

  • Incur pain as a result of eating, lie on couch. Meditate, read a book, socialize via text or email or play games on phone with friends (btw, for the amount I play I should be winning more).

  • Have lunch.

  • Incur pain, lie on couch or jump in bath. Read book etc.

  • Maybe nap for a bit, depending on what is going on around the house.

  • Enjoy dinner with the family. Incur pain, jump on couch and wait for them to visit.

  • Sleep - but sleep sitting up as it hurts on sides. Pee three or four times due to all the water I am consuming.

  • Repeat.

As you can see it’s not too exciting, and it is repetitious. But you know what, it’s another 7 weeks till I finish this double dose of immunotherapy so I have a plan and I’m sticking to it.


It just takes a lot of patience. And for those that really know me, they know I don’t like doing anything over again. I need new, and this is anything but new.

Oh and so you understand the challenge with the pancreas, when I went in to emergency my lipase was at 243 and I went in due to pain and fever. The last three weeks the results have been 283, 440 and last week was 551. All very high as accepted range is 8-80. These increases are due to inflammation of the tumour on the pancreas thus causing angst.

As long as I can tolerate the pain I will continue. And as for pain, well it’s kinda like having your appendix flare up.

So. In short, actually, in long, I am fine. I continue to have my patience tested but I am absolutely remaining positive and recognize that I want to complete the two sessions and the whole process is but a simple seven weeks.

Almost half way there.

Would do that standing on my head if it didn’t hurt so much.

Don't Stop Me Now.