To be alive, to really be living, one must have a sense of purpose.
I truly believe this to be true.
I’ve had times during this journey where I was alive, but I wasn’t living. I remember these as moments in time where I lost a sense of purpose. In all fairness the focus usually had to be on staying alive and often that meant all energy was intensified on self preservation vs fulfilment. I honour those moments and am proud of them.
But the point remains. Have a purpose, and you’ll feel life at a cellular level.
After a week in hospice, where time seems to be on a different continuum. It’s like a slow chaos. Am I packing everything into a short amount of time, or am I looking at an extended stay in this gentle way station?
The timing question is out of my control so I’ll let it run its course.
But within the continuum I find peace. A calm, warm, love filled, joyful series of moments of reciprocal love that have flooded my life these days. From beautiful family time, to visits from friends, to so many texts, emails, phone calls, zooms, blog responses, social media and so much more, I find peace.
And it is this peace that I believe is now the purpose.
If I am at peace, and you witness this peace, then I believe I have provided a pathway for you to also be at peace.
And that is my purpose.
And even more profound, I believe, you now have a deeper capacity to deal with disease, death and dying. And if you recall normalizing the stigma of disease, death and dying was my purpose at the very beginning of this cancer journey.
Yes. Yes indeed. I am at peace.