Mind Games


Thoughts are fleeting and often have an energy of their own. As much as I work to stay positive sometimes outside activity or forces have a way of creating their own strength.

As of late I have been communicating with two lads, both travelling down their own cancer paths. One has spent a month in ICU and is just being released to the regular long stay room today or tomorrow. He has endured a long and arduous trip and he has been doing it with relentless courage. When I visited him he was attached to so much equipment, he had a large tube feeding him oxygen through his mouth and all he could do was communicate through his eyes and a slight head nod.

What those eyes told me was profound. I'm not going to describe it as I think it was between us. Suffice to say, I cannot wait to get back to the hospital and read him the book I brought to him for when he was able to digest it. He's presently my hospital hero.

I am learning patience and resilience from this brilliant man.

The other lad is following my cancer path by a year. He and I met as a result of me writing this blog; and as he had kidney surgery followed with the cancer being metastasized in his lungs it seemed like we would be good for each other. Our paths were very, very similar.

I was the teacher, he was the student. As things happened to me I let him know and he was prepared for the onslaught.

Recently our roles have switched. He now has a tumour on his brain and is undergoing cranial radiation.

I am now the student.

And I am learning from him. He has been posting his images of going in for radiation. He is dressing for success and it looks very good on him. He's my cancer fashion hero. He is teaching me a lot and I am grateful for his poise.

I don't mind learning, never have. But what this specific lesson did was that it opened up that little space for doubt. That little door that I have been fairly successful in keeping closed. 

If he and I were on same program how did this jump to his brain take place?

I'm not straying from my path. I'm staying positive. But I have now seen a crack in the door. 

And yes, I've closed it.

But it does mean I have to stay after school a bit more in order to keep up my studies.

This is an ongoing practice. For the mind is everything. What I think, I will become.

And in my mind, I am in perfect health today.


Old Man Winter

The Best Medicine