Brain Fog

I feel like I’ve been keeping something from you by not telling you about a particular side effect of all the different cancer treatments, surgeries and litany of opiates.

I have Brain Fog.

It isn’t something that gets in the way of my day to day but it sure has a way of making you work for your day.

By that I mean it’s there, it’s always there, and you kinda get used to it, but things don’t come as quickly, your thinking is kinda dull, and you can easily amuse yourself by staring at a wall for long periods of time.

At the same time, if you shake your head and say to yourself that’s it’s not you it’s a side effect, then you can almost forget that it’s there. At least for a period of time.

Honestly I had gotten used to it till I got to the quite solitude of the cottage. Without distractions I have realized how big a fog there is in my noodle. I am now just understanding how dull my brain is. And not in a terrible way, more of a nuisance.

The best way I can describe it is to compare it to the day after a big party night. You know that mung feeling of just existing for the day after - don’t count the dry mouth or hangover, just the dull brain. The desire/ability to just be happy being unproductive and idle, maybe staring blankly at something.

That’s what my brain feels like. And while I’m getting used to it I’m also going to see what I can do to free myself from its weight cause it’s a real drag.

When I’m back in Calgary I will be looking in to a plan as chemo brain/brain fog is a legit challenge, and if I recall there were classes to help cope.

Of all things I miss, it’s my mind that I miss the most.

Actually I kinda miss the tooth that fell out of my mouth tonight as well.

Yup off warranty for sure.


Muskoka Returns

Going Nowhere