Just finished getting a scan of my brain. Will let you know if they find one.
Had someone from the wound clinic visit me yesterday as my arm seems to be taking extra time to heal due to chemo and steroids. A skin graft was mentioned but I have asked to keep on existing track for a while, will know more in three weeks. And as if Tracey isn’t already awesome enough she said she’d give me some of her skin if we could.
Lots of other stuff going on but I have decided recently that I have slowly crept into the world I did not want to occupy. At the beginning of my journey I always said I did not want to become my cancer. I did not want it to define me, nor did I want it to occupy so much of my mental space. This was an unofficial edict Tracey and I made as soon as we saw others doing so. We left a group session because it was sad and depressing and in our minds wasn’t beneficial in any way.
But somehow I found myself in this exact spot. Both Tracey and I have noticed it, and have made a conscious effort to reduce the cancer conversations wherever possible.
I still want to continue advocating for others, I’m still going to go for walks or have chats with those struggling with their diagnosis, and I’m not going to avoid answering questions people have about my journey because I know it impacts them as well. I will still update the blog on my adventures as I know it answers questions people may have, and from what I’ve learned it provides some support to others in similar situations.
There is a great sense of purpose that drives me by being in this role and I take it seriously, mostly.
Instead I am going to focus on non cancer conversations as much as I can. It’s good for my mental and physical health and to be frank talking about cancer all day gets kinda boring. And talking about me is even more boring.
And really, who wants boring…