Ward 47

Somehow it kinda feels like coming home. After my surgery, which was expected to just be day surgery, has turned into an extended stay on the palliative ward. Ward 47 is where you go when they need to make sure you are comfortable and are able to manage your pain.

As I have now been here three times I’m really enjoying running into all the great people that have helped me in the past. These are some of the finest most compassionate people I’ve had the pleasure of working with.

And not that you ever plan on being on Ward 47, and I’m not recommending that you ever check in to this fine floor, but sometimes things just have a way of happening and you just need to embrace the situation and make the best of things.

And for now the best thing for me is to be under the watchful eye of the Ward 47 team.

Yesterday’s surgery to embolize the bleeding tumour was a success, or at least all signs indicate it was a success.

But in true form if there are two roads to take I always choose the one that is more challenging. This was certainly my mantra in my marketing career, I would always tell my teams that the more challenging ideas were often the best, I just didn’t figure I would also be taking this approach with my health!!

What could have been day surgery has become a weeks stay on a ward that is focused on my pain management.

My pancreas is very angry that we agitated it and then had the audacity to block its blood and oxygen supply. Also, as a result of having to stay away from liquids prior to surgery I also have a slightly pissed kidney, but today’s lab indicated that the kidney is coming around and we’re pals again.

Yesterday’s pain was seriously high, it quickly got up to an eight, verging on nine out of ten on the pain scale. And if you know me you know I manage pain well and have only gotten this high once before. Ironically it was a different surgery but done on the exact same operating table.

Hmmm, till I started writing this I hadn’t made this connection.

My pain was so high yesterday I couldn’t see straight, was writhing in pain and was mentally shutting down. We started with fentanyl, switched to morphine and then back to a higher dose of fentanyl. There may have been some hydromorph in there as well but my memory during that time is kinda sketchy. I’m presently on an automatic dosing system of the fentanyl so my new normal is now a nice simple foggy existence.

I may have to go back and review this post as I have had a few moments of inappropriateness in the last two days due to being high. Prepare for editing at a later date.

But you want to know what a really cool upside to being on a continuous flow of fentanyl, other than the obvious abating of the curling up in a fetal position due to pain.

The upside is lying in a bed with your earbuds in and listening to great music. I think one of the great side affects of this drug is the incredible richness of both the melody and the ability to really hear the lyrics.

And what is also cool is being able to lean over and pee in a container. Oh and the fancy blue slippers are super fancy, and I have a bed that adjusts ever five minutes so you don’t get bed sores and I don’t have to put any quarters in the machine, oh and the best of all is the grumpy roommate that yelled ‘shut the fuck up’ at my nurse and I when we were talking while getting my blood pressure and other vitals. Guess his fentanyl levels were too low?

But I think I’m digressed far enough now, probably should stop here before I say something inappropriate. Like talking about how they shaved my junk. I stop at that, even I know better than to describe my faux Brazilian.

Oh, and my son gave me a new name.


Discharge. Now Recharge.

Oozy Tumour